Do you want to feel like someone who always gets lesser than what they deserve? If you have ever dealt with a Tough boss or an uncooperative flight attendant to list a few examples and come out feeling frustrated then understanding the dynamics of negotiation is vital for you to get what you deserve, here are five easy to remember tricks for an effective negotiation in everyday life –

1. Never Split the Difference

   Imagine a New Years’ Eve party and you have a disagreement with your better half on the color of your dinner shirt. She wants you to wear black and you want to go with white. Would you ever choose something that is half black and half white? This will end neither pleasing her nor serving your objective. Remember this example next time you feel splitting the difference. Negotiate and learn to understand more about the situation.

2. Set your Goals and Objectives

   Before entering any negotiation, set your goals and objectives clearly. Be clear in in your final goals and worst-case scenarios. This will help prepare you mentally and emotionally for what you want to get from any situation. Here is what to remember :

   • Set your deadlines

   • Never be Rude , even if you hate the person you are speaking to

   • Incremental changes and achievements are better than sudden changes.

3. Imagine the Pictures in their Heads

   Negotiations are often seen as the BATTLE OF BULLIES, where being empathetic can be seen as a sign of weakness. In reality we must remember that negotiation is the art of getting what you want and most certainly you catch more flies with honey. No one is asking you to be the nice guy but remember these tips:

   • Speak their language

   • Imagine what they are thinking and try to lay the points on the table

   • When someone Says No — Ask them , how can we change the situation ?

   Getting more information is the key to an effective negotiation.

4. Talk to the Decision Maker

   This one is quite obvious but important to know. Many hard ball negotiators first send out a sub-ordinate or a junior to talk, this junior has no real power to make decisions, but speaking with them can reveal your strategy and fatigue you before the actual negotiations can actually begin. Take these steps before you start your negotiations:

   • Research the team you will be meeting with.

   • Ask the person on the opposite side of your table, if he has the mandate to make decisions.

   • Brainstorm before the meeting to come up with creative solutions.

5. Every Situation is Different

   In reality all situations you face will be different, you could be faced with a tough negotiation with your kids, with an angry boss or with the parking attendant. You must learn to adapt to every situation and apply the strategies differently every time -

   • In a confrontational situation first try and pacify the counterparty. When humans are angry they have the response from the amygdala part of the brain, that generates the “fight or flight” response, in this scenario humans are more likely to make irrational judgements and therefore not give you what you want

   • While talking to your kids or family, understand and ask where their disagreement is coming from. Getting this information can help guide you to develop a roadmap for success.

   Remember all these strategies and tactics are useful in almost all situations, but if you feel that the person you are speaking with has a hidden agenda or is hurting you emotionally, remove yourself from the negotiation immediately.